The following is Hailee’s account shared with us: When I first met Kevin, I was swept off my feet. He was charming, attentive, and seemed like the perfect guy. I thought I had hit the jackpot. But as time went on, I started to notice things that didn’t add up, and soon I found myself trapped in a toxic relationship that took everything I had to get out of.

The Perfect Beginning

Like many people in a similar situation, my story starts with a whirlwind romance. Kevin and I met at a mutual friend’s party. He had this magnetic energy about him—everyone wanted to be around him, and he knew just how to make people feel special. When he turned his attention to me, I felt like I was the luckiest girl in the world. He was funny, handsome, and seemed genuinely interested in everything I had to say.

In those early days, he would shower me with compliments and gifts, making me feel like I was the center of his universe. He would text me good morning every day, send me flowers just because, and make grand gestures that were straight out of a romantic movie. Looking back, I now realize this was a tactic called “love bombing,” a way to win my trust and get me hooked. At the time, though, it felt amazing, and I fell for it hard.

The Red Flags Start to Appear

As months went by, the cracks in Kevin’s façade started to show. The first time I noticed something was off was during a dinner with my friends. Kevin was unusually quiet and seemed irritated that I was giving them so much attention. When we got home, he exploded, accusing me of ignoring him and flirting with one of my male friends. I was taken aback because I hadn’t done anything of the sort. But he was so convincing in his accusations, so sure of his perspective, that I started to doubt myself.

From that point on, things slowly started to change. Kevin became more controlling. He would question who I was texting, where I was going, and who I was with. He started to isolate me from my friends and family, saying they were a bad influence on me or didn’t have my best interests at heart. I didn’t see it then, but he was trying to cut me off from my support system, making me more reliant on him.

Walking on Eggshells

I remember the exact moment I realized something was terribly wrong. We were out at a café, and I happened to mention a funny story about a male colleague. Kevin’s face darkened, and his demeanor shifted from charming to cold in an instant. Later that night, he unleashed a tirade about how I was disrespecting him by talking about another man. I tried to explain it was just a harmless story, but he wouldn’t hear it.

From then on, I found myself constantly walking on eggshells, afraid to say or do the wrong thing. Kevin’s moods were unpredictable. One minute he’d be sweet and loving, the next he’d be angry and distant. If I tried to bring up how his behavior was affecting me, he’d turn it around, making me feel like I was the one causing problems. It was a never-ending cycle of highs and lows, and I was emotionally exhausted.

Gaslighting and Manipulation

One of the hardest things about being with a narcissist is the gaslighting. Kevin was a master at making me doubt my own reality. If I confronted him about something hurtful he said, he’d deny it ever happened or claim I was overreacting. If I questioned his whereabouts or caught him in a lie, he’d accuse me of being paranoid and insecure. Over time, I started to question my sanity. Maybe I was too sensitive. Maybe I was the problem.

Kevin would also play mind games to keep me off balance. For example, he’d make plans with me and then cancel at the last minute, making up some excuse. When I’d express disappointment, he’d say I was being too needy or unreasonable. He’d promise to change, to be better, but those promises were always empty. It was like being on an emotional rollercoaster that I couldn’t get off.

The Turning Point

The turning point came when I found out Kevin had been cheating on me. I discovered a series of flirty messages on his phone with multiple women. When I confronted him, he didn’t even try to deny it. Instead, he blamed me, saying I wasn’t giving him enough attention and that he had to look elsewhere for validation. That was the last straw for me.

I realized then that Kevin was never going to change, and that staying with him would only continue to hurt me. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made, but I knew I had to leave. I reached out to my friends and family, who, thankfully, welcomed me back with open arms. They had been worried about me for a long time but didn’t know how to help.

The Aftermath

Leaving Kevin was just the beginning of my healing journey. For a long time, I felt broken, like a shell of the person I used to be. I had lost so much of myself in that relationship. I had to relearn how to trust myself, to believe in my own worth again. Therapy helped a lot. Talking to a professional who understood the dynamics of narcissistic abuse gave me the tools to start rebuilding my life.

I also had to deal with Kevin’s attempts to hoover me back in. He would send me messages, apologizing and begging for another chance, promising he’d changed. It was tempting to believe him, to go back to those early days when things were good. But I knew it was all part of his game, another tactic to pull me back under his control.

Finding Myself Again

Over time, I began to find joy in the little things again. I reconnected with friends, pursued hobbies I had abandoned, and focused on my career. I realized that I didn’t need Kevin or anyone else to validate my worth. I am enough just as I am.

It wasn’t an easy road, but I’m proud of how far I’ve come. I’m stronger now, more aware of my boundaries and what I will and won’t tolerate in a relationship. I’ve learned to recognize the red flags and to trust my gut when something feels off.

Advice for Others

If you find yourself in a similar situation, my advice is to trust yourself. You are not crazy, and you are not the problem. A narcissist will do everything they can to make you feel otherwise, but remember that their behavior is about them, not you. Reach out for help, whether it’s to friends, family, or a professional. You don’t have to go through this alone.

And most importantly, know that it’s okay to walk away. You deserve to be in a relationship where you are loved and respected, not manipulated and controlled. It’s hard to leave, but staying will only continue to hurt you. Take it from someone who’s been there—it’s worth it to reclaim your life.

Thank you for reading my story. I hope it helps someone out there who might be struggling with a similar situation. You are stronger than you think, and you are not alone.